Dressed To Kill (Independent Thought)

I don’t have a great deal to remember before setting off to work. Over the years many habits have been abandoned in order to streamline the morning routine and ultimately allow for more time in bed. Hair-brushing, lunch preparation, watching the news and even the institution that is breakfast have all become casualties of my laziness. Only basic personal hygiene and clothing have survived my schedule overhaul, a decision much appreciated by my colleagues.

I do appear however to be in the minority when it comes to my lack of attention to appearances. Both male and female members of staff consistently turn out with ever more intricate hairstyles and uber-fashionable outfits. The problem isn’t in their clothes though, it’s in their actions. Aside from the fact that most of them look ridiculously over dressed, (some of them look like they’re shooting straight off to a wedding after work, or maybe to Ascot for the final race of the day) I do feel that they are enjoying the hypocrisy of experimenting with fashion whilst simultaneously handing out detentions for untucked shirts, hair accessories, and skirts and heels that are either an inch too short or too high respectively. There are obvious standards in student uniform that need to be adhered too but those members of staff that are so regularly giving warnings to students on their attire, are those that also push the boundaries of vertical fringe length in males or hooped earring diameter in females.

As well as the hypocrisy we are in effect telling students that these minor misdemeanours that may require, at most, a quiet reminder, are the equivalent to much more serious issues. Is having your sleeves rolled up really the same as throwing an (empty) coke can at another student’s head? Events which I heard recently carried the same punishment. The next phone call or meeting I have with an irate parent outlining their disgust at a detention issued for a petty uniform offence will force me to perform some amateur gymnastics on the hooped earrings of my detention-happy colleague.